Not All Grown Up… Yet

In response to the daily post on “All Grown Up”

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

I rarely feel like I am a grown up and probably feel most grown up when I am paying bills (tuition, rent, and club fees). Living away from my family also makes me feel grown up. However, a majority of the time I still feel like a perpetual child. Despite being 26 the smallest things bring me childlike glee.

One night while I was walking in the downtown Princeton area with one of my housemates and having a discussion, I caught a glimpse of the giant tree in Palmer Square. It was sparkling with Christmas lights galore or all different colors. The trees surrounding it were filled with the softer colored monochromatic lights. Wreaths were hung on every lamppost and above doors. Red ribbons with gold trim were hung and tied into boughs of holly above arches. People 3 blocks away could hear my shriek of joy. Bystanders looked confused as I ran across the street, up a flight of stairs, and across the square, only to stop in front of the tree, beaming from ear to ear.

When it’s not Christmas, the child in me still loves to sit on my mother’s lap. It doesn’t matter if I am bigger than her or that sitting on her only means having my legs on top of hers and wrapping my arms around her neck (so I don’t crush her legs). On occasion I will even ask my godmother to tuck me in at night the way she used to when I was a child. Crawling into bed, pulling the covers over my head, and waiting with anticipation for her to tickle me. Then a kiss on the forehead and lights out.

If anything, I think I am a little resistant to growing up. Even now that I am on the East Coast for school I have managed to find temporary mom like substitutes. Someone whose lap I can sit on.


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