My attempt at keeping journals over the years has met with varying levels of success. I will begin it with full force only to come to the conclusion within a few weeks (sometimes days) that I have nothing profound to say. Is that why I was even trying to keep a journal? For my profound thoughts? Or was I trying to keep a journal so I could reflect back at a later point on how I once thought. Perhaps it is because of the freedom that comes from writing, whether or not I will ever read it again is besides the point. I recently came across a small moleskin journal that was only half filled with entries from 2012. I began to read through some of them and noticed a them throughout the entries. They were all questioning whether I was on the “right path.” Entry after entry was feelings of frustrations and venting, wondering if I was on the right path, wondering what I was doing wrong, if I was doing anything wrong. On one hand entries in other journals in the two years since have been very similar.
But last night, as I was sitting in a small coffee shop drinking the most ginger infused chai I have ever tasted and listening to some guy playing his guitar, the first thing that came to my mind was, “this is a bunch of whiny BS.” Yes, I definitely called the entries from Brittany 2 years ago whiny BS. I began to write in that same journal, picking it up from the two-year hiatus. The newest entry an answer to the older ones of questioning.
In some paradoxical way what if the path you are on though being the wrong path is the right path? Who cares what the path is anyways? Whatever path you are on, you are on an adventure in some way. If you are on what you would define the “wrong path,” take delight in the journey that takes you to the right path. If you are on what you would call the “right path,” then enjoy where you are and the experiences that are happening. Life is a constant process of growth and we will change paths multiple times. I then wondered if all the questioning of the right path was because I was on the right path and set up camp somewhere along the way and then wandered off for some exploration.
It was interesting to read the musings of myself from 2 years ago and it has shown me something. I should spend less time worrying about the path and enjoy the sights, sounds, and people I meet along the way.